| fuck chuck norris |
[Mar. 17th, 2006|01:58 am] |
After the Chuck Norris phemonenon we had to bring Patrick Swayze to the center stage. And by we, I mean:
Dan Mullin
Jason Clugston
Steve Mullin
Today we spent a few hours writing the following jokes and we think some of them are pretty funny. We hope you will find the same when you read them. Believe it or not, we actually wrote all of them. Have fun...
1. I have holes in my top and bottom, my left and right, and in the middle. But I still hold water. What am I? A fish tank after Patrick Swayze has finished with it and told the water to stay put.
2. Only Patrick Swayze can take the country out of the cowboy.
3. Why do penguins fly on Thursdays? Because that's when Patrick Swayze visits Antarctica.
4. Florida was originally a scale replica of Patrick Swayze's penis, but due to erosion is no longer as big.
5. When Google doesn't know something they ask Patrick Swayze.
6. Chuck Norris is Patrick Swayze's stunt double.
7. What's cooler than being cool? Ice cold. What's cooler than that? Patrick Swayze.
8. People had to avoid the Noid, so they went to Dominos. Unfortunately, the Noid disappeared in the early 90's because he couldn't avoid Patrick Swayze.
9. Patrick Swayze invented the sound of breaking glass.
10. When does Patrick Swayze go to bed? When Chuck Norris finishes blowing him.
11. If you've done it, Patrick Swayze has done it better.
12. Patrick Swayze invented swimming in the 1930s.
13. The Wright brother's learned to fly so they could escape Patrick Swayze.
14. Patrick Swayze can translate any language into the language of love.
15. When people write ps at the end of a letter, it is a note for Patrick Swayze.
16. Before Patrick Swayze showed them the long boat, the Vikings used his likeness to travel the seas.
17. Patrick Swayze invented inventing.
18. Patrick Swayze contains no artificial sweeteners.
19. Mrs. O'Leary's cow tipped over the lantern and started the great Chicago fire and Patrick Swayze put it out by singing a cool breezy island song.
20. A sonic boom is only the sound of Patrick Swayze making love.
21. Patrick Swayze's mom goes to college.
22. Patrick Swayze thinks about having sex while playing baseball.
23. Yawning is contagious, unless you're Patrick Swayze.
24. Sticks and stones may break your bones, and so will Patrick Swayze.
25. God used to intern for Patrick Swayze.
26. Patrick Swayze: use only as directed.
27. Contestants on Jeopardy have to answer in the form of a question. Patrick Swayze will only accept answers in the form of interpretive dance.
28. Patrick Swayze is the only true Army of one.
29. Patrick Swayze does all of his own stunts in sex scenes.
30. Patrick Swayze caused and cured polio.
31. Women have breasts so Patrick Swayze can get milk just about anywhere.
32. Jerry Seinfeld has so many questions, because he's afraid to ask Patrick Swayze.
33. The A-team was in business until Chuck Norris tried to have them take out Patrick Swayze.
34. Allah is Arabic for Patrick Swayze.
35. March 17th is Saint Patrick Swayze day.
36. Patrick Swayze was the first man to float like a butterfly and sting like a bee.
37. Patrick Swayze helped the war effort in WWII by dropping one testicle on Hiroshima and one on Nagasaki...... What? Too soon?
38. (propaganda) This Patrick Swayze joke is funny. (propaganda)
39. Patrick Swayze only pisses your pants.
40. Patrick Swayze doesn't need permission to rebroadcast major league baseball.
41. Patrick Swayze has never lost a cock fight.
42. Every play on Broadway is loosely based around Patrick Swayze's life, except for cats, which is dead on.
43. Oprah's fans will do anything for her. Patrick Swayze's fans will (insert something
along the lines of his fans season themselves to his taste so he can eat them later)
44. Patrick Swayze: Patent Pending
45. Under Chuck Norris' beard is a love letter to Patrick Swayze.
46. Patrick Swayze wouldn't do anything for a klondike bar.
47. How many Patrick Swayzes does it take to change a light bulb? None, he makes you do it.
48. Patrick Swayze uses infants to play jacks.
49. Patrick Swayze can drink more than one gummy berry juice in a day.
50. Patrick Swayze has cobras in his semen.
51. I slept with Patrick Swayze and all I got was this damn VD.
52. Patrick Swayze butt raped Paul Bunion in prison.
53. Patrick Swayze organized the Boston tea party, because he hates the British.
54. An ice cream social, the only true way to enjoy Patrick Swayze.
Copyright 2006 Mullin, Mullin, and Clugston LLC also wik |
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| Comments: |
I cant believe no one has commented on this entry.
It made me laugh, a lot.
From: (Anonymous)
2006-03-18 01:01 am (UTC)
wow | (Link)
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not in the least bit funny. | |
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